We put all our overwhelming experiences into our bucket. We have to because we wouldn't be able to do the job if we didn't. My bucket became so full that I began forgetting my protocols, parts of my body became numb, and it leaked into my personality, making me irritable, apprehensive and isolated. I already had some pretty good methods of draining my bucket occasionally, but it spilled over non the less.

So what do you do when your bucket is full and spilling all over the place? Change needs to happen. For me, it meant leaving a career I loved; I wanted more than the 20 years I had, but my bucket became too full for me to manage any longer. Now what??? I was forced into change, and I am thankful I survived the transition. It's a terrifying position, especially if your family depends on you to provide for them.

The experience expanded my consciousness in many ways; being forced to figure things out and grow from my trauma was life-changing. Assimilating this experience has made me a different and better man. Growth can come from trauma, but it’s a rough road.