Acceptance and empathy are two of the foundations in Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy. The idea is to accept your spouse for who they are, develop an empathetic understanding, then repair the relationship from a mutual position of love and empathy. The effects of ICBT have been supported in several studies, one including a five-year follow-up.
But how effective is this when one spouse suffers from dysfunctional trauma? What happens when anger, isolation, altered neuro pathways and emotional numbness fracture a marriage? One of the books I’ve read on IBCT suggests severe mental health issues, like PTSD, must be managed before starting ICBT. I believe if a trauma-informed therapist can educate a couple about the effects of trauma and how it presents as misperceptions in relationships, then a modality like ICBT that prioritizes understanding and empathy could be relationship-saving.
A huge thanks to Dana, her husband Michael and their friend Mason for helping me with this one.