I often hear from fellow paramedics of the terrible calls they’ve had involving children; these calls affect us the most. For those who are not involved in this line of work, picture seeing an infant after it has been murdered by its father, just to punish its mother. Or a boy who has been decapitated because he tried to defend his sister, who was raped, and then had her throat cut. I’m not trying to shock anyone or be overly graphic; these are real calls that first responders have had to deal with. Real life is worse than most can imagine. After witnessing these horrors, how can we not be altered?

Not all calls concerning children involve violence, but that doesn’t make them necessarily easier to deal with. When called to an adult cardiac arrest, we often need to reposition the body to attempt resuscitation. We need to move the patient from the bed or pull them from the bathroom to position them in a place where we can work. Adults are heavy and difficult to move­—children are not. I remember all the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome calls I’ve responded to where I simply scoop up the baby and run to the ambulance while attempting resuscitation. Lifting a lifeless baby from their crib as their parents are overcome with grief is just an indescribable position to be in. I still hear the echoes of calls in my mind that involve children.

I call this image Children of Heaven. It brings me peace thinking where these children are now instead of thinking of what happened to them. I also remind myself of all the children we did help, and the look on their parents faces when we were able to make a difference. Having paediatric patients can be the most rewarding or the most devastating part of our job. I hope this image gives comfort to my fellow first responders in the same way it has for me.